Pregnancy...

You know you’re 9 months pregnant when…

1 .     Elastic-wasted pants are all you will consider wearing.
2.     You lean up against the kitchen counter and accidentally turn on the dishwasher.
3.     Your 4-year-old daughter calls you a pregnant watermelon and you laugh because you know it’s true.
4.     You consider it a compliment when the same 4 year old gives you a side hug and says you have a small butt and a big belly.
5.     You get stuck in the half bathroom off the kitchen because the kids left the stepstool in the way and you can’t maneuver around the door to get out.
6.     Shaving your legs in the stand up stall shower takes more twists, turns, and creative positioning than a gymnastics meet.
7.     Despite your VERY competitive nature, you’re ok with the skinny brunette, who is wearing practically nothing, passing you on your morning walk/runs and you console yourself by thinking “I am participating in my own private race where I will win…so there…and just wait until I get back into shape!  I’ll show you who is queen of the road at 4:30 in the morning!”
8.     You consider varicose veins and stretch marks well earned badges of honor.
9.     You’re willing to let your kids do anything if they’ll just let you lay down and close your eyes for just a minute.
10. You are more than excited to endure who knows how many hours of excruciating pain in order to meet the little guy who’s been rooming with you for the past 9 months.